INTERVIEW: Tennessee Tuxedo
Eight Questions for Tennessee Tuxedo
By: Gary Pig Gold
Hoboken, NJ's alt-C&W answer(s) to Porter and Dolly (aka David Ribyat and Elizabeth Walsh) tell Gary Pig Gold:1. "Munsters" or "Addams Family": Which one's for you, and Why?
DAVID: "The Munsters". I watch the show for Herman's expressions.
ELIZABETH: I like "The Addams Family". I think they chose their lifestyle, while the Munsters couldn?t help the way they were.
DAVID: Hey, Herman had to work for a living, okay?
ELIZABETH: You have to admire that. The Addams Family had the luxury of being really rich, so they could be as eccentric as they wanted. The Munsters were more blue collar.
DAVID: Yeah. I think The Munsters would probably appreciate a down-home band like Tennessee Tuxedo, whereas the Addams Family?s tastes were more hoity-toity. Is that a word?
ELIZABETH: Do you think Marilyn wanted to look like the rest of the family?
DAVID: Conformity is relative.
2. Who in the world, living or dead, would you most like to play a game of "Twister" with?
DAVID: The Gore girls, hands down.
ELIZABETH: Martha Raye, Ricky Ricardo, Sammy Davis Jr. and Deputy Dawg. How old are the Gore girls?
DAVID: I believe they're all of legal age. Now.
ELIZABETH: Actually, I like to play Twister by myself.
DAVID: Could I watch next time?
3. How many Sid King & The Five Strings records do you own?
ELIZABETH: I have "Hooked On Sid King & The Five Strings." It's great for aerobics.
DAVID: We (Tennessee Tuxedo) are thinking about doing a tribute album. Isn't it Tylin Whaler & The Five Strings now?
4. If you had been working the front gate at Graceland that night back in '76 when a drunken Jerry Lee Lewis showed up, shotgun in hand, to "put that damn Elvis outta his misery", what would you have done?
DAVID: I would have said "Jerry, there's definitely too much meat in your diet", then run like hell.
EIZABETH: You know, he accidentally shot his bass player. Twice.
DAVID: I heard that. I might ask him to play with Tennessee Tuxedo, but he'd have to promise not to shoot you. Accidentally.
ELIZABETH: I think he's too much of a gentleman to shoot a woman, unless he really wanted to. Anyways, it was kind of past Elvis' best years, wasn't it?
DAVID: So you're saying he should have shot Elvis?
ELIZABETH: Well, would you rather die on your toilet or get shot to death by Jerry Lee Lewis?
DAVID: Good point. I think I?d rather get shot to death by Jerry Lewis.
ELIZABETH: Jerry Lee Lewis.
DAVID: Oh! I thought you were talking about Jerry Lewis.
ELIZABETH: What would you do if Jerry Lewis showed up at the gates of Graceland with a shotgun?
DAVID: That?s a good question. Didn't he shoot Dean Martin?
ELIZABETH: Who, Jerry Lee Lewis?
DAVID: Next question.
5. "Ginger" or "Mary-Ann": Which one's for you, and for How Long?
ELIZABETH: I like the Professor. What was his name anyway?
DAVID: Wasn't he the Nutty Professor?
ELIZABETH: No, that was Jerry Lee Lewis.
DAVID: Oh. Anyways, Mary-Ann's for me. Being the country girl she is, she would probably dig Tennessee Tuxedo.
ELIZABETH: Have you noticed how Mary-Ann and Ginger symbolize the whole virgin/whore complex most men have about women?
DAVID: Yes. Which one are you?
ELIZABETH: No comment.
DAVID: You know, Twister is a lot like yoga. I forgot to mention that.
ELIZABETH: You also have to say how long Mary-Ann's been your favorite.
DAVID: Always.
ELIZABETH: That?s beautiful. You hardly ever see that kind of commitment in a relationship anymore. Do the Gore girls know about this?
6. Which single song, living or dead, do you most wish you'd written -- and Why Didn't You?
DAVID: "You Really Got Me". I didn't write it because I was too busy working on "A Man Of Simple Taste" (copyright 1992, Tennessee Tuxedo).
ELIZABETH: "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight" - by the time I started writing, all the good chords had been used up.
7. Who's guitar would you most like to be reincarnated as?
DAVID: Mine. Or Chrissie Hynde's.
ELIZABETH: Anyone but Pete Townshend's.
8. In 2000 words or less, Your Hopes, Aspirations and Goals, musical and otherwise, for your life and your country?
ELIZABETH: To quit my day job.
DAVID: To get Elizabeth's day job when she quits.
ELIZABETH: To sleep late.
DAVID: To sleep late and listen to Patsy Cline all day.
ELIZABETH: Is that for yourself or your country?
DAVID: I think my country would be better off if I slept more.
ELIZABETH: I heard that before there was electricity, people slept a lot more.
DAVID: You're rambling.
ELIZABETH: I know. I need to go to sleep.
DAVID: I want people to hear our band, Tennessee Tuxedo. That is my musical goal.
ELIZABETH: Do you think we should try to plug the band more?
DAVID: You mean Tennessee Tuxedo?
ELIZABETH: Yes, Tennessee Tuxedo.
DAVID: No. That would be tacky.
