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Various Artists Mullets Rock! (Legacy Records) By: Vinnie Apicella
The Mullet, also known as"10-90," "Beaver Paddle," "Ape Drape," "Camaro Pelt," and-- Canadian Passport?" These, among many others, are just a few of the amazing discoveries you'll make on this latest 35-track trip through ol' school dreams and adult life damnation. "Kentucky Waterfall?" The list is endless and is a real crack up by the time you arrive at the end and realize the resourcefulness or severe retardation that must've been behind it. One question, is U2 simply too cool now to make this list? I think Bono's was busting out all over back in the "Bloody Sunday" days, right? Oh, but wait, are we also talking day in the sun, dead and buried types for consideration here? Loverboy and Electric Light Orchestra notwithstanding, there's an exemplary display of yesterday's denim-era holdovers lighting it up for a new generation of-- we'll call 'em undecideds to play it safe. Yup, the yearbook pictures spring immediately to mind where the mullet's concerned and funny how they've all but disappeared in the years that passed since -- the yearbooks that is. For all the not so hidden smirks and scorn flung toward the mullet and its associative albeit outmoded lifestyle, there was some timeless music happening that we've since deemed "classic" -- and let's face it, we never really paid attention to the "look" until the advent of MTV, who gave nary a shit less to the 38 Special's of the world with their black bearded, blue pick up looks than they did bout The Fixx and Howard Jones-- but then that's for another session. So our so-called style from which this soundtrack is based applies to barely half of its noteworthy participants. I mean, can you imagine the guys in ELO with mullets? Deep Purple? Wait but there's Rick Derringer; didn't he sport one back in his prime? Did he even have a prime? Did he have a beard? Then again does anyone care about Rick Derringer's haircut or personal grooming habits in the first place? Alas, this collection is out to prove that the mullet look is not simply a look at all but an entire lifestyle that has seeped well beyond its commonly known trailer park populous. It's a "safe" mode of haircut that the forty-something's might still get away with portraying for poker night, or weekend bowling and beer kegs with Barry and his NHL buddies-- to say nothing of the black-sleeved jerseys that went so damn well with the next day in class concert recap. And no question, the mullet equals an impassioned allegiance to the late great and still going legends of the time, however where the likes of Brownsville Station or The Doobie Bros. are concerned, I have no excuse. So following on the unlikely momentum fostered by last spring's "Joe Dirt" flick, the mullet is granted its just due for the many an old guard well as the newly initiated and unashamed wearers and superstars that helped create them. Where does this collection separate itself from the countless numbers of Classic Rock and outlaw anthem types brandished in the name of sex, drugs, and drive shafts? Most exploit the idea of "70's Guitar Rock" or the Psychedelic Hippie shit that ran amok among the wild Mississippi and settled somewhere South of the I-95 border but generally too cool to include Squier, Loverboy, Derringer, and Toto. "Mullets Rock!" is a welcome exploitation for the underserved community of Friday night fighters crusading to further rights of an unevolved phenomenon that's strapped in for another free ride down the freight hauler highway to hell.
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